Life has been weird since 2020, am I right? Imagine my surprise when I sat down to plan for 2023 and realized that I hadn’t reviewed goals since 2019. That can’t be a coincidence, can it? I felt the need to return to being intentional this year. To help focus myself, I adopted a single word and a set of goals for 2023.
Self-Love: My Word of the Year
I chose my word of the year about a month ago when I was writing a post for a client. The post is about self-love. Honestly, I wasn’t too excited to write it. The entire concept seemed a little fluffy to me. But the more I wrote, the more convinced I was that I needed more self-love in my life.
What is Self-Love?
Self-love is how much you care about your happiness and well-being. It about being kind to yourself and valuing yourself. If you practice self-love, you don’t put others’ needs before you own. And, most importantly, in my case, you are kind of yourself. You use your inner voice to lift yourself up instead of speaking negatively to yourself.
Benefits of Self-Love
I was blown away as I learned all of the positive benefits of self-love. There’s literally no downside to not being an asshole to yourself. Some benefits include improved mental health, self-esteem, resilience, boundary-setting, and confidence. The mental, physical, and emotional benefits are all good. So, I figure there’s absolutely no reason not to try to be better to myself. I mean, I only get one me.
How I’ll Practice It
When I was learning about self-love for the post I was writing, my first thought was, “Oh, I’m not very good about that.” My inner voice is often unkind. I have a tendency to focus on my faults. I would never say the things I say to myself to a friend or really anyone. So, I’ll primarily focus on self-love by shutting down that negative inner voice.
I listened to or read something from Mel Robbins a while back about how we speak to ourselves. She said that when we notice that negativity, we just stop and tell ourselves, “We’re not doing that.” Being more aware of my inner dialogue will help me stop the negative and focus on what may also be true.
Aside from that, I’m going to focus on treating myself well. I’m pretty good with self-care already, but I’m not always good at taking care of myself practically like I do others. For example, I consistently allow myself to run out of products I use daily or procrastinate in getting my hair done or buying something I need. I would jump up and run out or make an appointment if my family needed something. I don’t need to be radical about it. I just need to care for my own needs the way I do my family’s.
During the last few months, I have also been trying to set healthy boundaries for myself. I do well with setting boundaries on things I will or won’t do, but I’m not good at setting emotional limits. I take on way too much that’s not mine to carry. This part may be the most difficult, but I will work to be OK with the lack of control, especially regarding other people’s actions or attitudes.
My 2023 Goals
I try to break down my goals to reflect my priorities. My priorities are in this order:
- Me
- My little family
- My bigger family and close friends
- Work and professional development
Sometimes I go into the year knowing some goals (like my reading plan), while others are less solidified before I plan. Here are my 2023 goals in no particular order.
Reading
To read 200 books by Jan. 1, 2024.
I don’t know why I’m so hell-bent on reading 200 books in 2023 since I didn’t even reach my 150-book goal this year. I think it’s just because I haven’t done it before.
Health
To continue my weight loss and health journey and lose at least another 20 pounds by Jan. 1, 2024. This also includes continuing my daily exercise/movement routine.
I lost 20 pounds in 2022. I still have a lot more to lose, but I did it in healthy and sustainable ways without feeling like I was missing out or punishing myself. I’m going to keep this going this year.
More importantly, I’ve developed a daily exercise and movement habit. It started with 20 minutes a day in 2020 and has grown to 40 minutes a day in 2023. My friend Nanci and I check in with each other and keep one another accountable. It’s been really good for me, and being accountable to her helps a lot.
Professional Development
To make enough money from my blog in 2023 to pay for it.
I’ve been writing on this blog for like 16 years and have a strong audience. I’ve never tried to monetize it. I just feed it money. I’ve got some plans to change all that in 2023. Stay tuned. I think you’re going to like this.
Of course, along with these plans comes returning to blogging regularly. I’m not going back to blogging daily as I did for years. Instead, I’m going to focus on twice a week.
Money
To achieve greater financial freedom in 2023 by paying off cars and any other debt possible.
Debt limits your options. The less you have, the freer you feel. I want to continue those positive feelings in 2023. That means I’ll have to resist the urge to buy a new car. It’s strong!
Relationships
To be intentional with all of my relationships and do at least one social thing a week in 2023.
I’ve come to terms with how much 2020 and the height of the pandemic fed my introverted ways. I was supposed to stay home and away from people, so I did. The problem is that I still wanted to stay at home when it became more acceptable to go out and be with people again. But my family and friends are important to me. I need to show them that with my actions.
Here We Go!
Wow! That feels a little vulnerable, but I’m going to go with it. Everything we want is on the other side of fear, right? So, here’s to self-love this year and meeting some key goals. Here’s the great thing about goals instead of resolutions, if I work toward them all year, I win. Even if I don’t do exactly what I set out to do, I still move in the right direction.
Whether you decided to have a word of the year, set a resolution, or just be the consistently awesome person you already are, I hope 2023 is fabulous for you. If you’d like to share your thoughts, words, or resolutions with me, I’d love to be inspired and support you in your journey.
