I love a good mantra. I have so many little quotes and tidbits that I make decisions by. One is a quote I heard at a conference some years back.
“No one cares how busy you are, how tired you are, or what happened at the airport.”
It’s simple and profound, and it speaks clearly to our busyness culture and how we use being busy as a badge of honor.
The truth is that I loved the feeling of busyness (Yes, busyness is a word, and that’s how you spell it.) for years, especially in my professional life. What I understand now is that busyness is a way to feel fulfilled by shallow things and lose track of what matters most. Now, I do my best to fight busyness, and I think it’s worth the battle. Here’s why.
What is Busyness?
Busyness is when you’re doing so many tasks and activities that it stresses you out. You have a packed schedule, numerous commitments, and little free time. You probably lament about how you’re “busy, tired, and stressed out” while feeling internally like you’re actually really important. Busyness culture makes being busy and tired a status symbol — one that’s not worth attaining.
While being busy can sometimes be productive, it can also lead to a lack of focus, reduced efficiency, decreased well-being, and crucial mistakes.
Why Does Everyone Seem So Busy?
So, why does everyone seem so busy these days? Are we actually doing more?
Research shows that, globally, we’re not working more than in the past. In fact, we’re working fewer hours in the day, days in the week, and weeks in the year than ever before. It certainly doesn’t feel that way, does it?
Laura Vanderkam, author of 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think, one of my favorite books on time management, found that people think they work more and rest less than they do. Most Americans sleep about eight hours a night and work 35-43 hours a week.
The real problem, Vanderkam wrote, is that people don’t know how they spend their time.
We all have 24 hours in our days and seven days in our weeks. If you do the math, that comes out to 168 hours each week to create the lives we want. We all have the same 168 hours, repeated until the span of our lives is through,” Vanderkam wrote.
There is time to sleep eight hours a night (56 hours a week), work 50 hours a week (most people work more like 35-43 hours a week) and still have 62 hours a week to do other things, Vanderkam wrote.
It seems simple enough, so why do we feel so busy? Here are some contributing factors:
- Constant Connectivity. I hate to be the old lady who blames technology, but we can’t ignore the impact of constant connectivity. If we feel like we’re always accessible, whether to work or anything else, we’re naturally going to feel more hurried. You can feel like you’re making time by eliminating tech distractions.
- Cultural Norms. We want to feel busy. We see it as a sign of success and productivity, so we busy ourselves with “important” things, even when it’s unnecessary.
- Overcommitment. We overcommit to various activities, whether work-related, social, or personal projects. Then, we find ourselves multitasking or running from one thing to the next, leading to stress.
- Poor Scheduling. I see this one a lot. We think things take less time than they actually do, so we don’t give ourselves enough buffer room in our schedules, leading to running around like chickens with our heads cut off (What a terrible cliche!) because we overbooked ourselves. We need to create more margin in our lives.
- Fear of Missing Out. I understand having diverse interests and wanting to do a lot of different things. It’s pretty much how I live my life. But FOMO can cause us to overfill our schedules just because we don’t want to miss a chance to do something we might enjoy. Saying no is always a choice.
- Distraction and Multitasking. Students still look at me like I’m bonkers when I tell them that multitasking is impossible. You can’t focus on two things at once, which leads to task switching and lack of focus. When you’re distracted, your mind feels chaotic and inefficient, making you feel busy.
The Problem with Busyness
Now we have a better understanding of why we feel so busy, but maybe we think we like it, or it’s just the way our lives are. What’s the problem with busyness?
Problems with busyness include:
- Stress. Constant busyness stresses us out. It causes things like irritability, anxiety, and trouble concentrating. Chronic stress can become a significant mental health issue if you don’t learn to cope with it.
- Fatigue. Ever feel tired, even though you know you got a full night’s sleep? You aren’t physically tired. You’re mentally fatigued from all the busyness, which makes it difficult to maintain your energy levels to get through the day.
- Poor Sleep. Don’t you just love waking up at 3 a.m. every night to worry? A busy mind and schedule can interfere with sleep patterns, leading to difficulty falling or staying asleep. Then, you know what happens? You feel like a toddler who needs a nap. You are stressed out and physically tired.
- Reduced Productivity. Here’s some irony… the busier we are, the less we’re often actually getting done. Multitasking and constant switching between tasks can lead to mistakes and inefficiency.
- No Self-Care. The busier we are, the less we care for ourselves, which is exactly the opposite of what needs to happen to keep us going. We neglect things like regular exercise, healthy eating, and just relaxing. A lack of self-care negatively impacts overall wellness.
- Burnout. You can only burn the candle at both ends for so long. Chronic stress leads to burnout, which makes it challenging to function effectively or even care that you aren’t.
- Physical Health Issues. If you don’t slow down, your body will eventually slow you down. Chronic stress from busyness can cause cardiovascular disease, weakened immune function, and digestive issues, among other health problems.
- Mental Health Concerns. Constant busyness can increase the risk of mental health issues like anxiety, depression, and mood disorders.
- Strained Relationships. Perhaps one of the reasons you’re so busy is that you’re trying to be everything to everyone. Know what happens instead? You spread yourself too thin, and people start to feel like you never spend quality time with them. It strains your relationships and leads to feelings of isolation and loneliness.
- Reduced Quality of Life. When busyness consumes you, you miss out on the things that mean the most. You’re so focused on the busy that you don’t take time to soak up the things that really matter.
How to Fight the Busyness Culture
This whole busyness thing is a problem. After all, you only get one life. Why pack it full of meaningless crap just to neglect the things that matter the most? But how do we stop this cycle of busyness? How do we break free of the busyness culture?
Decide to Make a Change
The first step is deciding that a constant state of busyness isn’t for you. Sure, there will be busy times, but deciding you want to strive for the opposite is critical. You can’t change anything until you recognize the problem and admit that what you’re doing isn’t working for you.
Track Your Time
I know this sounds tedious but stick with me here. You can’t realize how you’re misusing time until you know how you’re spending it.
Use a digital tool like the Hours app or a paper time diary to track how you spend your time for at least a week.
Don’t worry about it being a “typical week.” There’s really no such thing.
Also, don’t get tied up in it being perfect. You don’t need to document every second.
Instead, focus on getting an honest picture of how you’re currently spending time.
Identify Priorities
What’s important to you? What are your goals and priorities? Now that you know how you’re spending your time, is it reflective of your core values?
There are no wrong ways to spend your time. There are only ways that serve you and those that don’t. For example, if you feel like you don’t spend enough time with friends, but you spend 10 hours a week watching Netflix, it’s obvious that you should reallocate some of your viewing time to dates with friends.
Set Boundaries
You know your goals, how you’re spending your time, and what you want to change. Now is the hard part… sticking to your plan.
To honor your time, you have to learn to say no to tasks, projects, or invitations that don’t serve your priorities. Remember that no is a complete sentence. You don’t owe anyone a full explanation each time you say no.
As part of identifying priorities and setting boundaries, you may have to bow out of some things you already committed to. If you have a time-bound obligation, go ahead and keep it if you can, then say no to future “opportunities.” If it’s something ongoing, you may need to step aside gracefully. Most importantly, stop saying yes in the future to things you don’t enjoy or don’t serve you.
Manage Your Time Thoughtfully
Be intentional about how you plan your time, using the productivity system that makes the most sense to you. Allocate time for all important tasks, even those that aren’t work-related. Be realistic about what you can accomplish in any given day — usually three primary tasks that should be completed during your most energized and focused time.
Don’t forget to schedule breaks and time for basic self-care and relaxation in your day. At first, it may feel like you’re scheduling absolutely everything. That’s okay. It’s not busyness when it’s important. You’re creating routines. Soon, you won’t have to put exercise or your night-time routine on your calendar to make sure you don’t schedule over it.
Outsource When Possible
Those things that have to be done that you don’t like to do and don’t contribute to your overall goals and priorities? Outsource them if you can. Just because someone needs to do something doesn’t mean it has to be you.
For example, it takes several hours to clean my house. In that time, I could write two freelance pieces of content that would more than pay for a housekeeper, who could do the work in half the time. It’s best for me to focus on the work only I can do and outsource what I can.
Show Yourself Grace
In many ways, we’ve been programmed into busyness. It takes time to undo that. We’re not always going to get it right. Some weeks we may fall into old habits, or at times, we may need to start the process of evaluating what’s important and how we’re spending our time all over again. That’s okay. The most important thing is that we spend most of our time in ways that honor our values and what truly matters to us.
