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Book Review: I Thought It Was Just Me, But It Isn’t #100Books

May 28, 2013 by Kenna Griffin

I should read book descriptions more carefully. That’s what I thought while I was reading Dr. Brené Brown’s book, I Thought It Was Just Me, But It Isn’t.

I thought the book was about self doubt, but it just wasn’t.

Brene BrownThe book is about shame and how we attempt to protect ourselves from judgment and the resulting shame. Instead, we pretend to be perfect, resulting in us shaming others with the ideal lives they think we lead. It’s an interesting, circle of inaccuracies since what actually connects us is our imperfections.

The book also discusses how we attempt to change peoples’ behavior by shaming them. While this shaming may result in temporary behavioral change, it will negatively effect the person being shamed and will result in negative, hurtful feelings.

Shame is about the fear of disconnection.”

This fear, according to Brene, is “fueled by the sense that we are somehow trapped in our shame.” It’s the result of having an unreasonable number of unrealistic expectations and a limited number of options for meeting those expectations, according to the author.

We blame ourselves when we cannot rid ourselves of the shame. So we’re shameful of our shame. Again, a circular problem.

I enjoy Brené Brown’s blog. I find her to be a highly intelligent woman who undoubtedly has an expertise in the topic of shame. I enjoyed her TED Talk on vulnerability.

Unfortunately, I didn’t think the book was about shame. I trudged through it, but I didn’t learn much. In the end, it’s a shame that my own misunderstanding of the book’s subject resulted in my disappointment.

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above (typically those to books) may be “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. I promise that I only recommend products or services I use personally and think will provide you value. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Comments

  1. TammyL says

    May 29, 2013 at 11:39 pm

    The parenthetical title is so misleading! I didn’t look at the picture of the cover until after I’d read your review, and I had a flash of feeling the book was about self doubt even though I knew it wasn’t! They need to better market this to keep all their readers from being disappointed – sort of like when a movie trailer portrays something as a comedy when it only has 2 funny scenes. Misleading!

    Reply
    • profkrg says

      June 1, 2013 at 12:32 am

      TammyL Well, I thought that was just me, but I guess it isn’t. 😉

      Reply

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Prof KRG

Prof KRG aims to create an ongoing educational dialogue among media professionals, students and educators.

Please let me know what resources you need or topics you wish you better understood. If I don't know the information, I'm happy to seek out someone who does.

Contact me via email at kennagriffin@gmail.com.

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About Kenna Griffin

I am a mass communications professor, journalist and collegiate media adviser. I teach classes including those on writing, reporting, media law, media ethics, social media marketing, and public relations. I am married, have two children and live in Oklahoma. More about this site's purpose

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