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7 Tips for Praising Others, Even If You Blush

July 25, 2011 by Kenna Griffin

I bet you’re really tired of people telling you how good you are at your job. I bet you especially loathe it when someone commends you for a task well done.

It’s smarter to wager that your response to the above statements was an adamant “No I’m not!”

We all love hearing positive things about ourselves, our abilities and our jobs. Positive feedback increases morale, improves work motivation and generates productivity.

So why is it that so many managers have such a difficult time giving positive feedback?

Managers avoid praise because:

“That’s what they should be doing.”

“They’ll expect more money if I do.”

“I’ll say something next time I get a chance.”

My reason for failing to praise is more personal. It makes me uncomfortable. I want to provide positive reinforcement, but it comes out sounding trite and insincere. When I deliver praise, my attitude is passive. I speak more quietly than usual, divert my eyes, slump my shoulders, and I bet I even blush.

Admiring others’ traits and and work comes naturally to me. Praising them for a job well done does not.

Still, I recognize the importance of positive feedback. It’s a leadership skill I work on every day. Here are Seven Tips for Praising Others:

1. Just do it.

Practice makes perfect when it comes to delivering praise. The best way to avoid feeling uncomfortable praising someone is to just do it until it begins to feel more natural.

2. Do it immediately.

Don’t reserve your praise for a time that feels more comfortable. Praise others as they earn it. This helps make the feedback more exciting and authenic.

3. Praise publicly.

Those of us who aren’t comfortable giving praise might be tempted to do so in private settings, like during a one-on-one conversation or via email. This undermines the power of being recognized for a job well done. It also negates the positive impact of making others desire to perform praiseworthy actions.

4. Be sincere.

Don’t give praise just to give it. It means more to the recipient if it’s about something they recognize as praiseworthy. It lessens the impact of your positive feedback if you’re just trying to fulfill some kind of daily quota.

5. Be specific.

Leaders give the best praise when they know what employees are trying to improve upon, take notes about specific successes and provide positive feedback on those things.

6. Don’t have an ulterior motive.

Praise should never be used as a buffer to ease the irritation of requesting more work. Keep feedback and assignments separate.

7. Go over the top.

If you’re already embarrassed by praise, why not go all the way? Make providing positive feedback a regular, fun part of your organization’s structure. We used to have a “kudos” box in the student newsroom. Students could nominate one another for a job well done that week. During staff meeting, I read the kudos aloud and threw Kudos bars to the rewarded staffers. It was dorky and fun.

Bosses tend to overestimate the amount of praise they give. Perhaps because doing so makes us uncomfortable. Let’s try it anyway.

Of course, there’s always the option of sitting in your office comfort zone and avoiding the embarrassment of saying nice things. I bet you won’t have to worry about people interrupting you to tell you what a great boss you are.

 Let’s Talk Nerdy!

There’s no place quite as public as the Internet. Who should you be praising and why? Take a minute to give them a shout out right here.

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above (typically those to books) may be “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. I promise that I only recommend products or services I use personally and think will provide you value. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Comments

  1. dbrownxpo says

    July 28, 2011 at 5:51 am

    Tip #5 above is the most important, whether the feedback is positive or developmental in nature. I would caution managers, however, about praise, which paradoxically can be controlling and judgmental and experienced that way by the employee. The best practice for recognizing employee achievement or difficulty with making progrress is objective encouragement. To become skilled at encouragement, I would suggest this one-page primer at http://www.xponentialpub.com/download. Happy managing!

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Prof KRG

Prof KRG aims to create an ongoing educational dialogue among media professionals, students and educators.

Please let me know what resources you need or topics you wish you better understood. If I don't know the information, I'm happy to seek out someone who does.

Contact me via email at kennagriffin@gmail.com.

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About Kenna Griffin

I am a mass communications professor, journalist and collegiate media adviser. I teach classes including those on writing, reporting, media law, media ethics, social media marketing, and public relations. I am married, have two children and live in Oklahoma. More about this site's purpose

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