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Book Review: Say This, NOT That to Your Professor

June 21, 2012 by Kenna Griffin

Laura was in the first class I ever taught as a college professor. Professors aren’t supposed to have favorite students, but I’ll admit I was drawn to her. Laura (that’s not actually her name, for obvious reasons) always arrived a little early to class and chatted with me. She was attentive during my lectures, forgiving my new professor nerves, nodding a lot, and asking questions the way truly engaged students do.

I was surprised when Laura didn’t arrive to class one Monday morning, and even more so when she didn’t attend Wednesday’s or Friday’s session. I can’t remember how long Laura was absent before she sent me an email letting me know that she had returned home and wouldn’t complete the semester. She had tried to commit suicide.

I was shocked. I wondered if I had missed signs I should have seen. Was there something I could have done to help Laura? I honestly didn’t know.

It was the first of many times I remember thinking that my years of professional experience and my formal education had not prepared me for the challenges of being a university professor.

Ellen BremenHere’s one thing I know for sure: Your professors do not have all of the answers (to big or little questions), but we do legitimately want to help you.

This is the overarching theme of the book Say This, NOT That to Your Professor: 36 Talking Tips for College Success. Written by my friend, Ellen Bremen, the book is a how-to guide for students, advising them on how to effectively communicate with professors about everything from a grade they think isn’t fair to an assignment they just forgot to complete.

A key principle of Ellen’s book is that the manner in which students communicate with professors (and vice versa, to be fair) makes a measurable difference in the outcome of the exchange. As Ellen, who teaches communication at Highline Community College in Des Moines, Wash., wrote: “College is the ideal place for you to practice excellent communication. Professors are among the first people in your life you’ll interact with as an adult.”

Some of my favorite pieces of advice in the book include those regarding:

  • avoiding “I” language to have more productive communication,
  • addressing issues with the professor first before going to his/her superior,
  • students representing their opinions only, not those of their peers,
  • dealing with grades and perceptions of fairness, and
  • expectations of timely, professional communication from professors (aka: We’re not always working and responding immediately).

Professors teach more than just their subjects. We teach students the professionalism necessary for them to be successful adults in the workforce. Ellen’s book provides tips for college success and practical communication techniques that will serve students long after college.

This book should be required reading in all freshman orientation courses and for all first-time faculty members. It truly will help students and faculty navigate some of their most stressful professional communications.

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above (typically those to books) may be “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. I promise that I only recommend products or services I use personally and think will provide you value. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Comments

  1. PatrickStrother says

    June 21, 2012 at 2:53 pm

    RT @profkrg Book Review: Say This, NOT That to Your Professor. http://t.co/MW7EyKCx … #highered #edchat

    Reply
    • profkrg says

      June 21, 2012 at 3:05 pm

      @PatrickStrother Have you read it yet?

      Reply
      • PatrickStrother says

        June 21, 2012 at 3:35 pm

        @profkrg No but I put it on my list. It sounds really valuable.

        Reply
        • profkrg says

          June 21, 2012 at 4:12 pm

          @PatrickStrother it is valuable. It’s an easy read. I read it on a plane.

          Reply
        • PatrickStrother says

          June 21, 2012 at 5:07 pm

          @profkrg Just ordered a copy.

          Reply
        • profkrg says

          June 21, 2012 at 9:42 pm

          @PatrickStrother you’ll be glad.

          Reply
  2. profkrg says

    June 21, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    @BruceSallan Thanks, Daddy’O!

    Reply
  3. profkrg says

    June 21, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    @teachingwthsoul Thank you, Lisa. Have you read it yet?

    Reply
  4. profkrg says

    June 21, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    @janetcallaway Thanks, Janet!

    Reply
  5. annedreshfield says

    June 21, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    Excellent post — I agree completely. It makes me a little bit sad when students just shuffle into class and plop down without making eye contact or speaking to the professor. If that student acted like that in a business setting, it certainly wouldn’t reflect well on them. College is a wonderful place to work on communication skills, since it’s an environment where (most) professors would be forgiving (to a certain extent). Thanks for this review.

    Reply
    • profkrg says

      June 26, 2012 at 1:14 pm

       @annedreshfield I’m glad you enjoyed this post. You should consider reading the book. I think most people can get something from it!
       
      Kenna

      Reply
  6. profkrg says

    June 22, 2012 at 6:34 am

    @KevinMinott Thank you, Kevin. I appreciate your support.

    Reply
  7. profkrg says

    June 22, 2012 at 6:34 am

    @SocialMediaSean Thank you, Sean. Happy Friday!

    Reply
  8. profkrg says

    June 23, 2012 at 11:26 am

    @TedRubin Thank you, Ted!

    Reply
  9. profkrg says

    June 27, 2012 at 10:01 am

    @jkcallas Thanks, Jure!

    Reply
  10. ChattyProf says

    September 12, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    @directhitsfan Thank you!!! I’ve done some research in prep for the review and West-B and Praxis both have a vocab component.

    Reply
  11. ChattyProf says

    September 12, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    @directhitsfan Thank you!!! I’ve done some research in prep for the review and West-B and Praxis both have a vocab component.

    Reply
    • directhitsfan says

      September 12, 2012 at 3:09 pm

      @ChattyProf Thank you for researching the vocab component of these tests. When are these tests administered?

      Reply
    • directhitsfan says

      September 12, 2012 at 3:09 pm

      @ChattyProf Thank you for researching the vocab component of these tests. When are these tests administered?

      Reply
      • ChattyProf says

        September 12, 2012 at 3:09 pm

        @directhitsfan Both are for teacher certification. Not the same as the SAT, but definitely a reading/comprehension component.

        Reply
      • ChattyProf says

        September 12, 2012 at 3:09 pm

        @directhitsfan Both are for teacher certification. Not the same as the SAT, but definitely a reading/comprehension component.

        Reply

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Prof KRG

Prof KRG aims to create an ongoing educational dialogue among media professionals, students and educators.

Please let me know what resources you need or topics you wish you better understood. If I don't know the information, I'm happy to seek out someone who does.

Contact me via email at kennagriffin@gmail.com.

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About Kenna Griffin

I am a mass communications professor, journalist and collegiate media adviser. I teach classes including those on writing, reporting, media law, media ethics, social media marketing, and public relations. I am married, have two children and live in Oklahoma. More about this site's purpose

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