Reading Shaunti Feldhahn’s books turned out to be an interesting social experiment around my house.
I first read For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men. The book, based on Feldhahn’s in-depth survey and interview research of men, is meant to help women understand the men in their lives.
It was interesting to learn what men wish women knew, including that they feel like imposters most of the time and that it’s more important for men to feel respected than loved by their wives, according to Feldhahn’s research.
I felt like I was learning a ton from the book, especially when my husband gave a few “amens” to the content. I immediately started applying what I learned to my own relationship.
When I finished reading (I actually listened to the audiobook.) For Women Only, I decided to listen to For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women to see what I thought of the advice about my gender. The book is written by Feldhahn and her husband, Jeff Feldhahn, to serve as the counterpart to the women’s book.
I related so little to the findings revealed in this book that I began to question the validity of the For Women Only version. I saw some of myself in the ideas that women can’t ignore things that bother them and that they want men to listen to their feelings instead of trying to fix things. However, aside from that, I’m either outside of the authors’ typical research responses or I lack a great deal of self-insight.
Despite not seeing myself reflected in the text, I think these books are a wonderful idea for engaged couples or newlyweds to read together. They certainly would bring up a lot to consider and to discuss together.
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