Laura was in the first class I ever taught as a college professor. Professors aren’t supposed to have favorite students, but I’ll admit I was drawn to her. Laura (that’s not actually her name, for obvious reasons) always arrived a little early to class and chatted with me. She was attentive during my lectures, forgiving my new professor nerves, nodding a lot, and asking questions the way truly engaged students do.
I was surprised when Laura didn’t arrive to class one Monday morning, and even more so when she didn’t attend Wednesday’s or Friday’s session. I can’t remember how long Laura was absent before she sent me an email letting me know that she had returned home and wouldn’t complete the semester. She had tried to commit suicide.
I was shocked. I wondered if I had missed signs I should have seen. Was there something I could have done to help Laura? I honestly didn’t know.
It was the first of many times I remember thinking that my years of professional experience and my formal education had not prepared me for the challenges of being a university professor.
Here’s one thing I know for sure: Your professors do not have all of the answers (to big or little questions), but we do legitimately want to help you.
This is the overarching theme of the book Say This, NOT That to Your Professor: 36 Talking Tips for College Success. Written by my friend, Ellen Bremen, the book is a how-to guide for students, advising them on how to effectively communicate with professors about everything from a grade they think isn’t fair to an assignment they just forgot to complete.
A key principle of Ellen’s book is that the manner in which students communicate with professors (and vice versa, to be fair) makes a measurable difference in the outcome of the exchange. As Ellen, who teaches communication at Highline Community College in Des Moines, Wash., wrote: “College is the ideal place for you to practice excellent communication. Professors are among the first people in your life you’ll interact with as an adult.”
Some of my favorite pieces of advice in the book include those regarding:
- avoiding “I” language to have more productive communication,
- addressing issues with the professor first before going to his/her superior,
- students representing their opinions only, not those of their peers,
- dealing with grades and perceptions of fairness, and
- expectations of timely, professional communication from professors (aka: We’re not always working and responding immediately).
Professors teach more than just their subjects. We teach students the professionalism necessary for them to be successful adults in the workforce. Ellen’s book provides tips for college success and practical communication techniques that will serve students long after college.
This book should be required reading in all freshman orientation courses and for all first-time faculty members. It truly will help students and faculty navigate some of their most stressful professional communications.
PatrickStrother says
RT @profkrg Book Review: Say This, NOT That to Your Professor. http://t.co/MW7EyKCx … #highered #edchat
profkrg says
@PatrickStrother Have you read it yet?
PatrickStrother says
@profkrg No but I put it on my list. It sounds really valuable.
profkrg says
@PatrickStrother it is valuable. It’s an easy read. I read it on a plane.
PatrickStrother says
@profkrg Just ordered a copy.
profkrg says
@PatrickStrother you’ll be glad.
profkrg says
@BruceSallan Thanks, Daddy’O!
profkrg says
@teachingwthsoul Thank you, Lisa. Have you read it yet?
profkrg says
@janetcallaway Thanks, Janet!
annedreshfield says
Excellent post — I agree completely. It makes me a little bit sad when students just shuffle into class and plop down without making eye contact or speaking to the professor. If that student acted like that in a business setting, it certainly wouldn’t reflect well on them. College is a wonderful place to work on communication skills, since it’s an environment where (most) professors would be forgiving (to a certain extent). Thanks for this review.
profkrg says
@annedreshfield I’m glad you enjoyed this post. You should consider reading the book. I think most people can get something from it!
Kenna
profkrg says
@KevinMinott Thank you, Kevin. I appreciate your support.
profkrg says
@SocialMediaSean Thank you, Sean. Happy Friday!
profkrg says
@TedRubin Thank you, Ted!
profkrg says
@jkcallas Thanks, Jure!
ChattyProf says
@directhitsfan Thank you!!! I’ve done some research in prep for the review and West-B and Praxis both have a vocab component.
ChattyProf says
@directhitsfan Thank you!!! I’ve done some research in prep for the review and West-B and Praxis both have a vocab component.
directhitsfan says
@ChattyProf Thank you for researching the vocab component of these tests. When are these tests administered?
directhitsfan says
@ChattyProf Thank you for researching the vocab component of these tests. When are these tests administered?
ChattyProf says
@directhitsfan Both are for teacher certification. Not the same as the SAT, but definitely a reading/comprehension component.
ChattyProf says
@directhitsfan Both are for teacher certification. Not the same as the SAT, but definitely a reading/comprehension component.