I thought the book was about self doubt, but it just wasn’t.
The book is about shame and how we attempt to protect ourselves from judgment and the resulting shame. Instead, we pretend to be perfect, resulting in us shaming others with the ideal lives they think we lead. It’s an interesting, circle of inaccuracies since what actually connects us is our imperfections.
The book also discusses how we attempt to change peoples’ behavior by shaming them. While this shaming may result in temporary behavioral change, it will negatively effect the person being shamed and will result in negative, hurtful feelings.
Shame is about the fear of disconnection.”
This fear, according to Brene, is “fueled by the sense that we are somehow trapped in our shame.” It’s the result of having an unreasonable number of unrealistic expectations and a limited number of options for meeting those expectations, according to the author.
We blame ourselves when we cannot rid ourselves of the shame. So we’re shameful of our shame. Again, a circular problem.
Unfortunately, I didn’t think the book was about shame. I trudged through it, but I didn’t learn much. In the end, it’s a shame that my own misunderstanding of the book’s subject resulted in my disappointment.